American tipping culture is simply out of control. When buying food lately, I routinely get presented with a screen in my face that offers options of tipping 20%, 25%, and 30%. Often this is for nothing more than taking the order. This isn’t tableside service, it isn’t a reward for a job well done. The person I have to decide what to tip is right in front of me looking bored (I don’t blame them) with the 30 seconds they spent inputting my order.

So I’m getting a little irritated. Most of the time now I choose the “custom tip” option and do some quick math to get a round number close to 10-15% of the sale. A little depends on my mood, a little depends on the order taker’s attitude. Context.

But tipping 25% for simply taking a food order just doesn’t make sense to me. A $20 airport hamburger becomes a $30 burger, with tip and tax. And yes, I know that there may be several additional folks in the kitchen or cleanup crew that benefit from tips, not just the order taker. If I work real hard at it, I may be able to rationalize these extreme tipping rates. But I don’t want to – I’d like to go back to the timeline where restaurants and fast food pay their staff a reasonable wage and a 15-20% tip for good service is the norm.

And I know, this all sounds a bit boomerish. But food service owners take note – I’m done with subsidizing your being cheap with the wages. Pay your staff and stop with the expectation of big tips. Chick-fil-A can do it, so why the fuck can’t you?