I’m in Cleveland, TN tonight for my brother’s memorial service tomorrow. I’m as tired as I’ve ever been – not an exaggeration. I’ll go to bed early tonight and wake up based on whatever my body decides is morning. Might be 1am, might be 3, who the fuck knows. But this is appropriately the end of the road – from this point on I have two brothers to lean on, not three. A sobering thought.

The flight from SAN to BNA was awesome – I barely remember it. I was so tired I slept hard most of the way. Started in San Diego, woke up in Nashville a minute later. Sweet. The drive from Nashville to Cleveland was great until I hit Chattanooga. Three interstate lanes became one, and I went 5 miles in one hour. Ugh. But I’m here, probably for the last time in my life. It’s a nice area, but without Don there’s no draw. There’s a nephew to consider, and I’m giving that some thought.

I find that the more weary I get the less I give a fuck about what I say. My two brothers (plus Deeanne) and I had a meal tonight and the service wasn’t great. Normally I’m verrrrry polite, but tonight I let people know when they didn’t do so well. Maybe that’s why oldsters have that reputation – at some point, feeling sick and tired, you just can’t ignore even little slights. That sounds petty, and perhaps it is. I may have to work on that.

Tomorrow we say a final goodbye to Don. Breaks my heart. But that’s the reality of it – we’re here, and then we’re not. I hope our consciousness survives the death of the body, but who knows?

I can’t decide on any pictures to capture the moment tonight. Words will have to do.