Today I’m torn between depression and fascination. Depression, because life has gotten a bit tough and complicated lately. No good solutions for some big problems. Some mine, some my family’s. My brother’s health problems have not improved, in fact they’ve gotten worse. So that whole mortality thing jumps up again and demands attention. Truly existential problems get one’s attention.
Footnote – by depression, I don’t mean clinical depression. I have tons of sympathy for people who suffer that, who can’t get out from under the doom/gloom in their head. But that’s not me. I simply mean going through periods of dwelling on problems a bit too much. Ultimately my innate optimism (naivety?) kicks in and I move on to more constructive thoughts and activities.
The opposing force I feel today is fascination. There’s so much that’s interesting going on in the world. Let’s list a few.
Turns out that Amazon’s e-book publishing rate has tripled since AI/LLMs became a thing. That is fascinating. Used to be 100K per year, now it’s suddenly 300K per year. I know I wouldn’t feel any particular pride in getting a book published that a bot wrote mostly or completely, but someone does. Or maybe it’s a few unscrupulous savvy individuals publishing 100s or 1000s of AI slop books, hoping to get a few pennies from each. Either way it’s time to double down on the authors you know and buying physical books.
In a morbid kind of way, we’re living in an interesting time in the US. Will we pull out of our cultural/political death spiral? Will the US survive as a democracy, or will we become Gilead? Will Donny Convict and his family completely destroy a nation after a good 250 year run? Like I said, morbid but interesting. Whatever happens, his huge impact on the world and country is/was completely unpredictable and weird. You couldn’t make this shit up (well, Margaret Atwood could, but she’s another anomaly).
My new hobby of buying (and eventually fixing) vintage stereo equipment is really great. Keeps me interested and lots to learn, lots of music to enjoy. Lots of nostalgia, thinking of the first stereo equipment I had back in college days and understanding that that was the golden age of stereo. My current push is to integrate the vintage gear (mostly from the 70s) with 2026-era Chi-Fi tech. There’s a ton of crazy, interesting gear being designed and released from Chinese manufacturers at ridiculous prices. It’s all confusing, because the Chinese tend to shotgun their products, releasing dozens of variants fast – you’ve gotta do a lot of research to make an informed buying decision. But once in a while, a Chi-Fi product like the Fiio K13 R2R DAC gets released, and it’s sooo perfect for vintage integration. The sound it produces was only available for thousands of dollars in the past, but they’re delivering it for $300. I like it so much I’ve bought one for the CA stereo systems and one for the KY systems.
Though Elon Musk is certainly a racist, weird POS, his company SpaceX is still a fascinating story. It has brought space travel back into the mainstream and has opened up possibilities of Moon and Mars colonization, something I’ve read and thought about for 60+ years. Starship is absolutely worth paying attention to. I’m glad I’m getting to see it happen.
Then there’s travel. I do enjoy seeing the world, both the near destinations (lakes, Red River Gorge, the Appalachian countryside, the desert and mountains around Socal) and the far (Hawaii, Africa, the UK, Asia). I enjoy travel more now that I don’t have a job dragging me back on a very tight timeline. The world is a huge place, and while there’s no way to see it all, it makes sense to keep trying as long as you’re able.
And of course there are the grandsons. Getting to watch them grow up (and to participate materially in that) is the ultimate reason to stay engaged in life. Combine them with all the other stuff, and life is pretty interesting.
So…depression and fascination. As with most days (thankfully), fascination wins this cage match.
Title photo – Afternoon View From a Restaurant Patio Along the Ohio, 4/26/26.