No time to write today. As the Derby approaches, my insane project schedule just gets worse. Busy online all day yesterday and today.

Meanwhile, this speech by JB Pritzger (summarized by Heather Cox Richardson) is the best thing I’ve read in a long while. Read it. Go JB!

From Heather Cox Richardson today:

Early yesterday morning, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) sent three U.S. citizens aged 2, 4, and 7 from Louisiana, including one with Stage 4 cancer, to Honduras when they deported their mothers. The three are children of two different mothers who were arrested while checking in with the government as part of their routine process for immigration proceedings. The women and their children were not permitted to speak to family or lawyers before being flown to Honduras. The cancer patient was sent out of the country without medication or consultation with doctors although, according to Charisma Madarang and Lorena O’Neil of Rolling Stone, ICE agents were told of the child’s medical needs.

The government says the mothers opted to take their U.S. citizen children to Honduras with them. But as Emmaneul Felton and Maegan Vazquez of the Washington Post noted, because ICE refused to let the women talk to their lawyers, there is only the agents’ word for how events transpired.

ICE also deported Heidy Sánchez, a Cuban-born mother of a one-year-old who is still breastfeeding, leaving the child in the U.S. with her father, who is a U.S. citizen. Like the women flown to Honduras, Sánchez was detained when she showed up at a scheduled check-in with ICE.

In March, ICE agents sent four U.S. citizens, including a 10-year-old with brain cancer, to Mexico when they deported their undocumented parents.

Disturbing. Sickening. I wonder what it’s going to take before people rise up. And the Latinos who voted for Mad King Donnie…I hope their families disown them. Cast them out.

A long-time dear friend who’s coming to Derby with us is someone who’s all-in on Trump, even more so after the election. He’s very, very far down the rabbit hole – unreachable by logic. I’ve vowed not to lose any more friends to the culture wars and politics, but this will be a test.

After a loooong 30 hours in San Francisco, I’m chilling at my old airport hangout in Oakland – Vino Volo. Waiting for a flight to San Diego. You can certainly buy better wine than they offer, but you can’t pay more. Airport economics.

Today will be a 13-14 hour day by the time I get home, after the same yesterday. Last night was a downtown SF feast worthy of Roman Senate excess – 60+ people eating and drinking some of the best food/drink one can imagine. I’d forgotten how truly excessive BigCo events can be. Sadly (actually, not that sad, but different) I didn’t eat or drink anywhere near what was offered, or what I might have a year or two ago. I passed on the entire second half of the dinner and just chatted with my table-mates. I passed on Waygu steak (!), a miso-drenched black cod, another exotic protein I can’t remember, and a ridiculous chocolate dessert. New territory for me. But I navigated it successfully – I was alert and ready to go at 730am.

And at 730, my project mates and I took our first ride in a robot taxi, courtesy of WayMo. Robot car virgins. They are…freaky. It went well, we felt safe even though we know how shitty software can be. The taxi was built on a Jaguar frame, with the addition of dozens of sensors and cameras. They are *everywhere* in downtown SF. Quite the experience.

Today was a different kind of orgy, a nerd-fest where we freelance designed the world’s largest and most advanced data center in a giant group huddle. I was working side-by-side with architects, civil engineers, electrical contractors, plumbing and mechanical…and my little team, the Tech guys. It was…weird. We got a lot done, but it’s still early days. You can do a lot with a few billion dollars, and our project sponsors are working hard to make use of all that cash.

Tomorrow we head east for Louisville, and I can’t wait. I miss the place and the people a lot when I’m away. Looking forward to a great spring visi and The Derby.

I just love this. I’m generally a Bill Maher fan, but he really screwed up on his dinner with Donnie Convict. Larry David puts it in perspective, as only Larry David can.

Come on Bill, you’re smarter than that. You got played.

I’m all for communicating with the other team, trying to win them over via reason, but there’s a point past which it makes no sense – some other-side team members are just not possible to redeem or reason with. Just like Adolph, Trump crossed that line quite a while ago. He deserves nothing but contempt and opposition.

Back to the project this morning (ugh). But turns out I’m not the only one thinking about the differences in work-brain and retired-brain. From today’s NY Times:

For the millions of Americans who retire each year, stopping work might seem like a well-deserved break. But it can also precipitate big changes in brain health, including an increased risk of cognitive decline and depression.

Before retiring, you’re getting up in the morning, socializing with co-workers and dealing with the mental challenges of your job, said Ross Andel, a professor at Arizona State University who studies cognitive aging and retirement. “All of a sudden, after 50 years, you lose that routine.”

There’s this idea that the body and brain adapt when they’re “no longer needed,” he added. “That’s when you see the deterioration and its natural response to inactivity.”

Yeah, that sounds about right. The article also talks about “finding a purpose”, which is central to my current mindset.

***

In political/economic news, the US dollar has fallen to a three-year low relative to other currencies, and the stock market took another big dive today, falling to ~38,000. The market was at 45,000 at the beginning of Trump’s term, thanks to a wonderful economy in 2024. We’re down 15.5% since then, so thanks MAGA. And it’s clear that there’s more bad news coming, with Trump-induced tariffs and DOGE-driven mass layoffs of federal workers. This is the worst economic self-inflicted wound in US history.

***

There was some drama in my neighborhood on Easter. About a mile from the KY house, Louisville police shot and killed a man. Sorry to hear that, but happy it wasn’t any closer to us. The blocks around our place are quiet and boring – just the way I like it.

OK, maybe I will write a bit this weekend after all. I find myself in the interesting position of experiencing and understanding a subtle thing – the difference between “work brain” and “retired brain”. We’ve all had the experience of taking a vacation from work, and the blissful unwinding for a week or two. Then back to the grind. But in my case I’ve had about two years with almost zero work responsibility – the occasional board meeting, which adds up to 1-2 light-work days per quarter. Not exactly a grind. So my “vacation” had turned into something permanent, and my brain/mood/behavior had evolved into a state of “is this all there is?”. A mostly relaxed dissatisfaction. Ennui.

Then I took the assignment to help my friend. He *really* needed someone he could trust to lead a small team working to design some of the technology for a hyperscale AI datacenter. And with my retired-mode ennui dominating my mind lately, I thought, “why not?”. Help my friend, make some money, learn something new…win-win-win.

All of that win-win-win equation has turned out to be true. Yay for me. But the *price* of doing so was unforeseen. Work-brain has kicked back in, with a vengeance, bringing out some of my worst personality traits. It’s like the old Jekyll-Hyde story, and I don’t much like what Mr. Hyde is doing to me. And the type of project this turned out to be – a crazy, unrealistic schedule driven by crazy, unrealistic market expectations, workaholics, and infinite money – amplifies my negative traits. Experiencing stress and pressure to achieve someone else’s goals is simply a bad idea. At the moment, work-brain looks like:

• I check email obsessively, every few minutes, fearing that I might miss something important that just got thrown my way.
• I worry constantly that I’m going to fail. This project, team, and some of the technical disciplines are all new to me. The stakes are high. The assignment is vague, hard to understand, and best practices (the things you learn that are likely to lead to success) are thrown away.
• All my old dislikes about companies, meetings, and online passive-aggressive behavior come rushing back. I’m irritated easily and stay that way all day.
• I can’t sleep if there’s anything left undone. I lie awake at 4am mulling over what went wrong yesterday and obsessing over how to fix it.
• I can’t shut my brain down. I read science fiction, and that helps transport me away from the grind. A couple of good stiff drinks also dulls the noise, but the noise and stress are still there the next morning, plus the joy of my body whining “why did you do that?”.

So, work-mode-brain is turning out to be soooo much worse after an extended period in retired-mode. The contrast is startling. I’m not sure how I ever made it through 40 years of the grind, because now, after only two weeks back in the deep end of the pool, I dread getting up in the morning (4am or otherwise), because I know I’m going to hate the next 8-10 hours. It’s a bad way to live.

The good news is that I’m more self-aware now, having experienced a couple of years out of the grind. I think I understand what is happening and its negative effects on me. Understanding something should lead to making a better decision. It’s very obvious what I need to do – find a point (soon!) where I can exit this commitment gracefully, giving my friend time to fill the gap. And when I drift back into a state of retired-mode ennui, I can take a minute, read this essay and remind myself that things could be a lot, lot worse.

It’s 430am and there’s a lot I could write about. The ongoing political/economic apocalypse, the upcoming Derby, the crazy weather Louisville has suffered through, the recent wonderful interview with Mark Pope about his first year’s anniversary as Cats coach…there’s a lot.

But I find myself completely consumed by the hyperscale data center project. Endless meetings, endless ridiculous “we need it yesterday” deadlines. What was supposed to be a half time (20 hours per week) effort has become much, much larger. I’m spending 9-10 hours per day on this, and the other waking hours in stress recovery. It’s an ugly surprise, especially since I’m not enjoying the work. I can’t bail out quickly, as my original motivation for taking the project was to help an old friend – I can’t just walk away and leave him holding the bag. So…stuck for the moment.

I won’t write much here until Derby week, and maybe not even then.

This has been a good lesson. Being dis-satisfied with a retired life (trying to fill the time constructively) is much, much better than getting paid to do a job you don’t enjoy. I now have something to look forward to.

Yesterday’s Masters tournament was one of the best I’ve ever seen. McIlroy won it and lost it 3-4 times before he ultimately won it in a playoff. He hit some shots along the way that were inhuman – it was really something to watch. Then when he made the final putt, he had an epic emotional breakdown, all recorded in HD for posterity. I’m happy for him.

Hackwhackers has summarized the latest US political situation better than I could have, so here it is.

Back to golf, a friend sent me a NSFW AI deepfake video of McIroy making a speech after winning the Masters. The video was 100% convincing (other than the words coming out of Rory’s mouth), 100% realistic looking and sounding. Scary good. Just a reminder that we’ve reached a point where you cannot believe any video “evidence” you see online. Pretty much anything can now be convincingly faked with the current generation of AI tools.

On that subject, doing a lot of reading lately on AI and the ecosystem of companies that provide the capability. It’s fascinating – old dog is learning some new tricks.

Today is the Avocado Festival in Fallbrook, the largest event of the year in our small north San Diego County town. Maybe 125,000 people will descend on the town of 30,000, eager to walk five “downtown” blocks of triple-stacked vendor booths filled with art and crafts, food, and junk. It’s a downscale version of the St James Fair in our other hometown, Louisville. But the weather will be perfect today and we’ll spend a couple of hours walking through the crowds. Haven’t decided which of the many food treats I’ll indulge in, but a massive bratwurst is always an option.

The other big event of the day is the final day of The Masters. Should be a great competition, with McIlroy versus Dechambeau, PGA Tour versus LIV Golf, two of the biggest hitters and most outgoing players in the game. It’ll be fun.

I’ll only make one political comment today – the little meme below. Comrade Commodity Donnie.

Here’s an antidote to all the dark world political crap I’ve posted lately. I like this video a LOT. Maybe Mad King Donnie will ruin America, but it’s still a big beautiful world out there. The Dude world abides.

It’s a hot Friday here in Socal. Mid 80s. Quiet day, getting stuff done. For-pay project work, some lightweight property maintenance, interspersed with watching The Masters. Relaxing.

And of course reading the latest on whatever shittery Mad King Donny has gotten up to this week. The list includes:

• Gutting NOAA and all federal weather services, because reporting on the climate is poison to MAGA
• Donny and his captive pet DoJ saying “thanks, but I’ll just ignore you” to the judge who told them to get the wrongly-deported citizen back to the US.
• Firing the Commander of US forces in Greenland because she had the audacity to speak freely about JD Vance’s moronic trip there
• The Trump administration went full Handmaid’s Tale this week – Donny has ordered State Department employees to report on any instances of coworkers displaying “anti-Christian bias”. This one really chafes me – separation of church and state is so important, but for MAGA it’s profess as Christian or else. Unreal and scary.
• ICE advertised that they will stop these things from illegally crossing our borders: “people, money, products, ideas”. Ideas? Really? Once again, free speech gets its throat cut on the altar of MAGA.
• My favorite for the week – Donny signed an Executive Order to make sure Americans have enough water pressure for our showers. The things this lunatic spends his time on are astounding. Water pressure, for fuck’s sake.
• And of course the idiotic/destructive tariffs and the obvious insider trading continue. That’s par for the course now.

That’s all just off the top of my head. There’s much more shittery, but why bother?

We are so fucked. I spent some time at my local winery this sunny afternoon, having a glass of good Italian wine and bringing pasta home for dinner.

At the table next to me, well within a reasonable eavesdropping limit, were two 25ish women. One of them spoke loudly about the privileged people who disgusted her. Not sure who she was referring to. I don’t have background, I don’t have context, except for this – two twenty-something white women drinking wine at a posh place, 4pm in the afternoon, railing about the injustice of other folks’ privilege. What is wrong with this picture?

Full disclosure and disclaimer: I’ve spent my life on the Easy Mode in the game of Life. White, male, healthy, educated; rode the real estate equity train to Easy Street…I’m the definition of privilege. I get it. But that’s the point – I get it. I understand that I could have been born in the Sudan suffering from cholera and starving to death. Like millions of other less fortunate people. But I got Easy Mode.

These two women had no thought, no concept, that drinking wine in the afternoon in a free country, having others wait on you, soaking in the sunshine, is privilege by definition. All they see is “the other”, someone they want to demonize because of race, sex, religion, or politics. When the war starts, when we need all hands on deck, I don’t expect these two to be much help. They’ll be dealing with the surprising immediate reality that the world can be a hard place, and they’re not prepared.

I think this is the norm for the US, not a random observation. That’s why I think we are fucked.

You’ve got to love Kentucky ingenuity. First, Andrew Masterson, the owner of Captain’s Quarters restaurant, shows how he keeps his restaurant from being destroyed by muddy, nasty floodwater. It’s genius.

Then, some dudes from Muhlenberg County demonstrate “peak Kentucky”. Burying a minivan as a tornado shelter. Brilliant!

https://www.foxweather.com/extreme-weather/kentucky-bury-van-storm-shelter-severe-weather

Finally back in Socal after a long, strange trip. Transit time was 48 hours, including an adventure through Nashville.

Left Louisville on Friday during a cold downpour. After heavy rain, lightning and tornado warnings the previous 2-3 days, Friday’s weather seemed normal though tiresome. My brother and I drove south on I-65 toward Nashville through the downpour, passing over swollen rivers toward the border. It looked bad, it was bad, and in retrospect the flooding had only begun.

When we got to Nashville the weather was sunny, hot and humid. Felt like a different country. We met up with my old high school friend, ate some excellent BBQ at Martin’s downtown, then attended a cool concert featuring Lyle Lovett backed up by the Nashville symphony. During the first set Lyle introduced a special guest, Chris Isaak, who did a perfect rendition of Wicked Game, among others. Great show, great venue (The Schermerhorn), though by the time we made it to my buddy’s home in Brentwood (11pm Nashville time, midnight Louisville time), I was wiped out.

The next day I got reaquainted with old friends in their big comfy Brentwood home. They’ve had quite the journey since high school – one of those couples who made pretty much all the right decisions along the way, and they’ve been blessed with family love and financial prosperity as a result. Couldn’t happen to nicer people. We had a great day, saw the local sights, then watched the first of the Final Four games.

During the day the weather turned ominous and the storm hit Brentwood, right as I needed to Uber out to the airport. I had decided to stay in an airport hotel that night so my buddy wouldn’t have to shuttle me to the airport at 430am. That evening Uber ride from Brentwood was wild – massive lightning/thunder over top of us, pouring rain and very dark. Like driving through a dream sequence. We made it, and that night the hotel room flashed and shook as the lightning-rich storm parked directly over the airport. Not a lot of sleep, again.

Miraculously, my 620am flight left on time and I had a perfect nonstop journey out of weather central, back to Socal with clear skies and 80 degrees. The difference was surreal. Along the way I got sparkling clear views of the Rockies, the Grand Canyon, and the weird otherworldly brightness of the three Ivanpah solar concentrators near Vegas. Those things might be the brightest lights on the planet – from a plane they look like alien tech.

Some of the best news as I traveled back to the west was that in the second game of Saturday’s Final Four weekend, Dook squandered a big lead and lost their game to Houston in the final seconds. Epic, tragic loss for them. I’m ashamed to say that news gave me great joy.

So back in Socal on a Sunday morning at 9am local time, a long Uber trip to the house, and then collapse. Too many transitions, too little sleep, too many changes in weather and setting. Just a long strange trip.

Ugh. The Dow is down 3100 points in the last month, most of that in the last two days. All due to Convict Donnie’s “tariffs”, which should be referred to as anti-bribes.

A bribe is when you pay someone to do something on your behalf – Donnie has done plenty of that too. But an anti-bribe is when you cause economic pain to a person or organization (or country), and then remove that pain when they do something for you. It’s also known as a protection racket in gangland – “…nice little country you have here, it’d be a shame if it burned down. Just pay me weekly and I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” That’s what these “tariffs” really are – they’re not very subtle threats, pain inflicted on companies and countries, pain that will be removed when they bend the knee to Mad King Donnie.

It’s actually ingenious – I’m not sure who in Donnie’s Clown Cabinet came up with the plan, but congrats to them. It’s a way to funnel huge amounts of capital, cash and otherwise, to Donnie’s pocket. Plus, Donnie and his sewer clown cronies can make money on the timing of the huge market moves – currently down and down hard, but probably up later, when the tariff pain is removed. It’s the biggest grift he’s ever pulled off, but it’s a grift pure and simple. I hope more Americans can see it for what it is.

It’s all disgusting and discouraging to watch. If Congress weren’t a bunch of dysfunctional cowards, they could stop this. Executive Orders are NOT laws. But Congress is busy hand-wringing about keeping their phoney baloney jobs, unconcerned that our economy and democracy are being burned down.

The courts aren’t powerless, but they aren’t power-full either. Mad King Donnie and his minions are conveniently ignoring dozens of court orders on multiple fronts, finding quickly that judges are not able to enforce their rulings. What are they going to do, throw Donnie in jail? Nope, SCOTUS already determined that can’t happen.

Back to the beginning of this essay, the Dow is down about 9%, and I still maintain it’ll drop 20%-ish from its high points at the end of 2024. Time will tell what that (and the rest of Donnie’s fuckery) does to retirement savings.

Meanwhile, thanks MAGA. Nice job.

Interesting day today.

First up, heavy weather is on its way to Louisville. Real heavy. High winds, inches of rain overnight, a lot of lightning (again), and a 15% chance of tornadoes. While I love big storms, I hope this one blows through without hurting anyone.

Next, today was Convict Donny’s “liberation day”, the day he imposed minimum 10% tariffs on pretty much every country. Some much higher. These actions are guaranteed to raise prices on the goods Americans buy – just what we need. Dumb, unnecessary, and ill-advised. Right on message for MAGA.

Also today, I broke down and accepted an offer to do some paid consulting work on a hyperscale AI datacenter project. While I enjoy being mostly retired, working for clients brings a focus and a purpose that certainly feels good. Familiar. It’ll be interesting to see how some structure in my week feels. And the extra money will come in handy given what Donny is doing to the economy.

Yesterday, a home improvement project to hang a door in the KY house completely defeated my brother and me. We were organized, we had all the right tools, we weren’t in a hurry…but in the end it was Door 1, Brothers 0. In our defense, nothing in our project was at right angles or level. Not the door, not the doorframe, not the floor. We kept cutting and fitting based on assumptions of right angles, and that just didn’t work. We also put the hinges on wrong a time or two, and that’s on us. Time to hire a carpenter.